Confession number one: I can be a bit of a stubborn runner. I pride myself in wearing shorts 28 degrees and higher, and love it when the elements aren't optimal. It makes me feel like the run was even BETTER because I overcame those obstacles. Case and point from winter 2013:
Yea, Polar Vortex? We had cold last year too. We just forgot about it.
I didn't care that it was a snowy mess, I loved every moment of this run!
With this pregnancy, I have had to curb my "enthusiasm". I used to have a 3 mile minimum. Now? A two mile run is AWESOME. I went out the other day thinking the sidewalks looked decent, and called it quits after a mile. Was I pouting? No. I've learned that it's not about me anymore. It's about US. It's been a transition, and as I've gotten bigger, accepting that has been easier. I no longer want to be the hero that runs through the crosswalk to beat the car coming...I may not make it now! I'm accepting that my body can't perform the way I wish it would, because something bigger is going on here.
Confession number two: I'm vain. I have been a weight conscious person since I was probably 11 or 12. ALL, read ALL of my friends were thinner than me. I was by no means huge, but I felt bigger than everyone else. I began to exercise around age 14, and it turned into a positive change rather than an obsessive one. I started running around age 17, and loved it ever since. Was I happy with my body? Sometimes. Now that I'm supposed to put on weight, my vanity has shown through intermittently by way of mini moments of panic after a growth spurt. When I was in Puerto Rico, I had an issue with wearing a bathing suit. I was BARELY showing, but felt huge in a two piece. After continual love from the Mr., I got over it. However, my vanity has reared its ugly head more often than I had hoped it would as baby boy continues to grow.
In my heart, I'm totally fine with the weight gain. I know it's for the good of my child. I know it means he's growing healthy and strong. But sometimes, my head gets in the way. The head that says "The scale has never been so high!" or "You're PRing in cookie eating!" or "Unfortunately, your pajama pants aren't work clothes". These thoughts get me down. Thankfully, my husband has been my rock and amazingly supportive. Here are some coping skills I've employed to fight the mental battle:
- Talk about it. Sometimes I just need to get it out of my mind (Sorry dear if I'm a broken record).
- Go for a walk. This automatically brings a sense of wellness to my mind.
- Share it with another pregnant lady/mom. It's good to know you're not alone in feeling "larger than life".
So basically, I'm a reckless head case. Or rather, a recovering one! I am fully aware that I will continue to grow (A LOT), but I think recognizing these feelings is an important step in my personal growth.
How about you? Have you fallen in to a mental rut? Do you have any coping tips for mommies-to-be? Are you an all weather runner? Tell me about it!