Friday, August 7, 2015

What I've Learned in my First Year As a Mom

So my last post was from a month and a half ago. Things have gotten CRAZY. Henry is crawling up the walls (literally!), so my days are filled with parks, walks, parks, books, food, food, food, and SWINGS! I have planned posts in my head, thought about writing them, and then things would inevitably get busier. Lately I've been thinking about how things have changed so drastically (Thank you Time Hop for always reminding me that my baby was the smallest cutest guy ever!). Here are some of the things I've learned, sometimes the hard way, in my first year as a mom.

I can't stand the chubby arms!!!

I have learned to be uncomfortable. This is not a normal thing for me - I hate change, hate when things don't go as planned, and have a hard time coping and changing course. I have had to learn to "go with the flow", as hard as it may be. Babies are the most unpredictable creatures! When things go awry you want to pinpoint the trigger, and honestly it's simply a guessing game. Missed nap? Is he teething? Gas? Overtired? Have a fever? Dirty diaper? Hungry? And the list goes on and on. Thankfully this guy always makes up for it with love, and in recent months, kisses.

No naps? Everything makes me fussy? Sesame Street while holding onto mommy it is.

I have learned that everything will work out. In those moments that I can't handle when things have not gone as planned, I have learned (And eh hmmm am still learning) that the world will not end. It may sound strange, but one horrible nap can spiral the day, affect the night sleep and give me all sorts of anxiety. Yesterday, for example: Henry woke up from his nap over an hour early and was hysterical...while I was on a business call. Thank goodness it was with another mom who completely understood. I finished the call and Henry fussed and played. It was a rare time that I simply accepted that this crazy out of the ordinary thing wasn't going to make or break our day. More and more I'm calming down and letting things play out.

Super cranky boy hated the beach this day, and he finally fell asleep in the carrier. I was so stressed I didn't enjoy the beach until he was snuggled in, and we had a great rest of the day.

I have learned that I still need a ton of sleep...or rather coffee Sleep is like gold. Even if I get 8 hours, I will still be a bit tired. I'm a sleeper. Having a baby who isn't a sleeper has been very difficult for me. I have learned to take naps, go to bed early (ie: I fall asleep on the couch between 7:45-8:30 usually!), and stay up late when it's worth it. It sometimes feels like a confining tunnel where you can never get out because you'll never catch up on your sleep. Then you'll get a great night's sleep and will feel like a new person. And I have become super tight with coffee. We were best friends before, but now I'd call this a truly committed relationship. No prenup required.

I keep reminding myself of this. Surfboard.

I have learned that it's hard to feel like "your old self", because you become a new version of you.  Being a mom changes you; everyone says it and everyone is right. It's almost like you're reborn: you can easily forget about your life that happened before this all encompassing being took over! I feel like Mrs. Miller's Miles circa marathon training never existed, like it was someone else. I look back on posts and I think "That didn't happen, that wasn't did I run a 20 mile run!?" My friends have helped me feel like my old self as my new self. Being with them has truly made me feel like I can be myself and a mom. The new me values time spent away from Henry because it refreshes me to keep running through life with him!

We finally had our first overnight without Henry in Boston and it was amazing. Our friends are the best. Just saying.

Most of all, I've learned to have fun. It  was all schedules, spit up, and sleep deprivation for a while there. Once we got on a schedule we started venturing out, seeing friends and enjoying the city. Every stage has its own joys and challenges, but it keeps getting better and better. Yesterday he kept reaching for me as I was pushing him on the swing so I slowed him down and he leaned forward and gave me a kiss. I get it Henry, you own me.

How about you? What is something you have learned lately? HOW ARE YOU? I've been MIA, who is running NYC, Philly, CHI?! Tell me about it!

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