I think the subtle envies are more lethal. I cringed when I wrote my post Sunday and typed my average was "Only 9:15" for 10 miles. I realized that when I read other people's blogs and they say their average was "a slow 8:xx" etc, I roll my eyes and sigh. However, I'm starting to understand it all a little better these days.
I never tried to be fast. My runner envy would be seeing someone;s splits and say "Wow, I could never do that." Every person who got into running or ran a race for the first time with me always seems to be much better at running than I am! When I saw my weekly mileage totals compared to others who were training for the 2012 NYC Marathon, I would panic thinking "I'm not running enough!" Despite all these things that would subtly affect me mentally, I would continue doing the same stuff because I was comfortable. I liked being comfortable.
Now, I am running uncomfortably. I took my (subtle) desire to be better and actually put it into action. Instead of averaging high 10 minute miles, I've been consistently in the high 8 or low 9 minute miles. What changed? I decided I didn't want to just finish. I actually want to try for a real time. A sub 2 hour half marathon, aka 1:59:59. I've been breathing heavier, pushing harder when I'm tired and would usually ease into a nice slow pace to simply log miles, and running with faster people (AKA frightening). Even though my times are improving significantly (I also attribute this to the cold weather, in which I thrive), I still catch myself seeing other people's times and thinking "If I could only..."
So, how do you deal with Runner Envy? I've decided the month of March that I will not say or think a single negative thought about myself. I will only speak positive uplifting things concerning my running and my body. I will not compare myself to others, which will be incredibly difficult. The NYC Half Marathon is the weekend before my half marathon, and presumably I'll be reading up on all the fabulous recaps and PR's for sure! However, I will avoid that little voice putting fear in my head for my upcoming turn to complete my goal. I think a lot of it is being confident that I am doing what I need to do to complete the goal I have set for myself, taking no one else's successes or failures as my predictors.
Via
How about you? Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others? Do you enjoy a healthy dose of competition? Are you scared to chase a goal? TELL ME ABOUT IT!
17 days until the 13.1 NYC Sub 2 or Bust Bonanza!
18 days until traveling to P.R. with a PR!
11 comments:
I totally relate to this sentiment. It got so bad at one point that I found myself being ANGRY at elite, professional athletes for being so incredibly talented and nearly super-human. I had to remind myself - this is their career - it is what they live and breathe and how they pay the bills. Ultimately, we can't compare ourselves to anyone but our self - and always try to improve upon that. Sounds like you're doing just that! Keep up all the great work.
Ah the elusive sub 2 hour half!! Good luck!!
Right now, I'd be happy with getting the miles in, regardless of the pace :/
I like that challenge of not saying anything negative about yourself. That's something all women need to stop doing...including myself. I don't know if there is a day that goes by where I don't put myself down for something or envy someone for something. It's a disease. I try to stop but it really is a challenge.
I love this post!
I don't suffer from runner's envy as far as pace/PRs (I only just started racing a year ago, and I've accepted I'll just never be speedy!) but I struggle with those runners that seem to be more motivated than me. Like you said, seeing the "20 mile run" updates after you did "only 10," it's really difficult to accept you where you are right NOW. Which is different from everyone else.
I think envy among women is a huge beast in general. We all struggle with it; I definitely do -- whether someone runs more than me, is smarter than me, prettier than me. It's such a terrible and useless emotion.
I think your March goal of no negativity will work wonders!
I don't really have runner envy, there's always going to be someone faster and slower than me. And mostly because I'm so introverted that I don't give two shits what others think of me in general. :)
Really needed to read this yesterday. Thanks for a great post, Kristin!!
I'm so, so guilty of runner envy and having negative thoughts about myself. It's terrible that I spend so much time getting caught up in other people's runs and minimizing my own accomplishments. I love the idea of no negative thoughts for March, I'm going to try it myself!
I love this post. I get runner envy a lot because I'm new to racing and running... (4 months in). I am envious of your high 8 min low 9 min mile times... striving for that right now. Just try to keep positive, you'll do awesome. It's good to be competitive too hehe.
I was just writing a runner envy post in my head this week - well numbers envy... running. weight. blog hits. you name it someone else seems to be doing better.
I have been running forever (well since the late 80s in high school) and should know better than to compare.
I did write a post on reframing negative self talk that came to mind when reading yours so check this out: http://ericafinds.com/2012/09/turning-the-frowning-thoughts-upside-down/
It worked - ran an excellent 1/2 marathon right after!
Good luck in NYC 1/2. I'll be running, too!
This was a good post and I have decided, for the next month, I'm not going to post negative stuff. Reading back when I post "good stuff", I often have conditions to the good part of it. The rest of March is going to be all positive!
Thanks!
Don't worry, after all my illnesses this winter, you won't have Runner Envy of my NYC Half time.
A quote that changed my life and my running, no kidding: "You cannot compare yourself to others; you can only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday." SO DAMN TRUE! - Nancy, (@theteachergeek)
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