Sunday, March 4, 2012

This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me

So, I wrote about being an average runner. I was having one of "those weeks", not feeling well (fluish), stomach issues, girl issues, post vacation issues, you name it, I felt B-L-A-H BLAH. As Kanye said, "My attitude is tatooed/that means it's permanent so I guess we should address it huh?" So, let's address the Running Blues, or as I like to call it, "Runner's Depression".

It was not the typical "post race" runner's depression. I literally could not wake up early to run, nor could I lace up after work. I felt like crap. With a myriad of symptoms, I knew my body was crying for rest.

Today, I broke free and ran 8 miles. After listening to Katy Perry's song Part of Me on the way home from work Friday, tired runless me got pumped up by this song on the radio. Really pumped. So I came home, what is traditionally my rest day because I get really tired on Fridays, and ran 3 miles. Finally, today was long run day. 8 miles was on the agenda, and I completed it. I never felt tired, and my mile average is still 1:35 faster than my marathon pace. Sweet. Needless to say, I was happy about finishing strong:
I got to thinking, how do you get out of Runner's Depression when it's not post race induced? As I contemplated the meaning of my running life, Katy Perry's song "Firework" came on. So, we will discuss how to get out of a run funk through song.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag/drifting through the wind wanting to start again? Winds are going to come. It's part of life. Being sick is going to happen. It's part of life. What you do when things calm down is what matters.

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin/like a house of cards, one blow from caving in? It's easy to think that one more "uh oh", or one more "I didn't run" day, is going to erase all your training and hard work. Truth be told: It won't.
Do you ever feel, already buried deep/6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing?
Like when you complain that you haven't run, and people tell you "Don't worry you run all the time." or "Missing a couple of workouts won't matter." On the contrary, to runners, it matters. A LOT. The mental "OMG" while not running can be torturous. You have to examine: will I get better with rest, or better with a run? And be HONEST. I had to be. So I rested.

Do you know that there's still a chance for you/'Cause there's a spark in you? You have to remember past successes. Past training cycles. NONE of them were perfect I'm sure. (If you have training cycles that were perfect, every run completed at the right distance, wow. You should get a medal simply from training.) Let this create a spark in you:
You just gotta ignite the light/and let it shine/Just own the night like the fourth of July!
DO YOU! Do what makes YOU happy! Run your favorite route! Listen to your favorite songs! Wear your favorite outfit! Plan your favorite recovery meal for afterwards! Use a wine glass for your orange juice! Anything to ignite the passion of running. Or, you could be like me, and dance in public at at a Black Eyed Peas Concert without a care in the world! JUST OWN THE NIGHT....OWN THE RUN!
'Cause baby you're a firework/come on show 'em what you're worth! As I created my fundraising video, I had all these marathon memories that I forgot about. They pumped me up for my 8 miles today! I remembered thinking I would never make it out of Brooklyn, and continually singing I and Love and You by the Avett Brothers to make it through. Or seeing my teammates at Mile 23 and offering to run with them as they walked/ran through injuries. Where is that runner?!
She's right here.
So. I officially "fireworked" myself out of my runner's depression.

Dear Runner's Depression,
This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no.
Throw your sticks and stones,
Throw your bombs and your blows,
But you're not gonna break my soul.
This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me.
Mrs. Miller

20 Days until the 13.1NYC Half Marathon!!!


Meghan said...

Oh my gosh, I LOVE this post! And I love that you listened to the Avett Brothers while in Brooklyn. I think everyone gets the running blues and I know the next time I do, I am reading this post!

Meg O @watchmegorun said...

love love love this kristin! So glad it pumped you up for the 8 miler today.

Anonymous said...

Your a great blogger!!! -Jen clark.

Emily @ Journey to the Center of Manhattan said...

This is an amazing post - I definitely was in a big funk after the NYC marathon. But I'm running the NYC half in (gulp) two weeks!